Most people don’t really want to think about death. That’s understandable. But it’s the one thing that we know for certain that we all have in common.
I’m writing this during the unprecedented response to the COVID-19 epidemic. We know that people are dying and will die during this period. I’m not sure how many of us will come out of this without having lost someone they love. So now seems like a good time to talk to people about their wishes, beliefs and wills. It’s not morbid! It’s practical.
Funerals are different just now, so they are hard to plan for during the pandemic. However – do you know what you want if you have the choice?
- Do you know what you, your parents or grandparents want? Burial or cremation?
- Who do you want to officiate? If you are religious, does your local minister know you personally? If you’re not religious, do you want a professional celebrant? Do you want a family member to officiate – and have you asked them if they feel that they could?
Obviously, I’m going to recommend a celebrant – it’s our job! But here’s why:
- We know how to put a ceremony together, how to focus on the essence of the deceased, how to be able to talk to groups of people with respect for both the deceased and the mourners.
- We also know how to hold a safe space to mourn. I’m not sure I could officiate a funeral for someone I loved – I would be far too emotionally involved, and I don’t think I could hold the space for others to feel safe and supported.
I know these are really big questions, but chances are people who are vulnerable have already been thinking about this.
Maybe you have been. Maybe you haven’t talked to your loved ones because you don’t want to upset them. But right now, lots of us have the time to talk. So maybe that’s exactly what we should do.
I’m off to make some calls xxx
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