Scent in Ceremony

Sometimes overlooked, scent is one of the senses most linked to our memory. The other day, I brushed past a silvery grey herb, curry plant. I was immediately taken back to my wedding day, more than two decades ago. I’d asked the florist to include strongly scented herbs, and amongst others, there was cotton lavender, rosemary and curry plant. Now I smell rosemary too often for it to have the same immediate effect. I don’t smell curry plant that often and it’s an instant time travel smell.

I’m the same with Dog Rose – it takes me immediately back to being 10 years old, and our quarters in RAF Laarbruch, Germany. Used as garden hedging on the base, on dry warm summer days the smell of the roses was almost overwhelming. They had vicious thorns that would rip your skin every time you had to find a ball that had been thrown or kicked into the hedge. The seeds in the hips were a very useful source of homemade itching powder (apologies to my younger sister).

Smell can make us travel through time!

When we are planning a wedding, or a funeral, we often think about the visuals over all the other senses. But if we consider other senses too – the textures around us, the scent, the sound – we get a rich sensory experience that adds to the way we experience the day.

Considering scent in ceremony can take different forms. Incense has been used in different religions for centuries – maybe even millennia. It serves as a signal that you are in a liminal, ceremonial moment. It is used as an aid to prayer or an offering to deities and spirits. But there isn’t a clear use for scent in non-religious settings, unless we take the time to think about it. We can of course also burn incense, but we are not limited to that.

Funerals

At the funeral of a woman who spent most of her working time outdoors, I sprayed the chapel at the Crematorium with a room spray that smelled of cut grass. It was subtle, but it made the room feel more connected to her, more personal. At another funeral, Chanel No 5 was spritzed over the coffin. It was her favourite perfume. Other times we have lit a favourite scented candle. Rosemary is associated with remembrance and love so it has a clear association with funerals.

Weddings

Rosemary is a herb that can be used very successfully in ceremony. A ring warming is a lovely ritual that we’ve had to avoid during covid times. But when we can do it again, it’s even more memorable when the rings are placed on a sprig of rosemary. As we pass the rings around the guests, when they come to you, take a moment to hold the rings and wish your blessings for the marriage into the rings. As you cup them, with your hands nearly closed, you can smell the rosemary. When you next smell rosemary, you might think of the couple and your wishes for their marriage. Other herbs also work, but rosemary is easy to get hold of and is symbolically used for remembrance, love, fidelity, honesty and longevity.

Myrtle also works really well in this ritual as it is a traditional flower for wedding bouquets, it smells lovely and has a symbolic association with love and fidelity. Then again, it’s often been considered an aphrodisiac too!

Other herbs such as lavender, sage, thyme are also highly scented and can be used in similar ways.

There are so many ways that scent can be used to add layers in ceremony. Roses can be chosen for both colour and scent. Instead of a sand ceremony why not make a signature spice blend that you can give to your guests as favours? Lavender can be used in baby namings for it’s association with peaceful sleep! You could write each other love letters and spritz them with your favourite perfume. As your celebrant, I can give you ideas for your ceremony that incorporate different senses. But why not think about your favourite scents, or memories that you associate with different smells? Do a little bit of time travelling through scent!